Fr Brendan McManus SJ, who works in the area of spirituality and spiritual accompaniment in the Irish Province, says he has had a great life as a Jesuit. “The most valuable insights have come from the Ignatian training I have received, how to reflect on experience and make good decisions”, he shares.
From this perspective, he writes to his 15-year-old self 15 “rules of thumb” he has found useful in his life. All of them have Ignatian references. For example, in tip #2, he takes cue from St Ignatius that God is in our deepest desires, not the superficial ones. Working in the computer industry prior to joining the Jesuits, he acquired all the material possessions and status he thought he desired, but he found it to be “a desolatingly empty experience” and prompted a search for his “true vocation as a priest”.
But finding one’s true vocation does not mean living a perfect life. In tip #4, Fr McManus cautions against pursuing idealism and perfection so much that we beat ourselves up and agonise over its unattainability. “In Ignatian Spirituality there is spelled out the terrible dilemma of life that perfection and idealism, while seemingly good things, can often lead to disillusionment and despair… [T]here is normally a third option, or middle way, that threads a course between extremes.”
Fr McManus remembers that as a Boy Scout, he was taught there is always enough in your environment to solve the problem. “It’s never going to be ideal but there are options and decisions to be made… Therefore, instead of wishing it were different, look around and see what you can use.” In other words, instead of wishing for perfection, “Bloom where you are planted” (tip #7).
Indeed, there is no panacea for all of life’s troubles. “In my work as a spiritual director and hearing people talk about their lives, I often hear of the illusive search for the ‘silver bullet’ or magic ingredient that will suddenly solve all life problems”, Fr McManus shares in tip #8. In reality, the solutions are often mundane and process based, requiring effort and commitment on our part. Referencing St Ignatius: “God normally does not appear in the miraculous but through human processes; ‘everyday’ miracles.”
Do not be afraid to ask for help. In fact, “Asking for help is the greatest wisdom” (tip #10). “Often the obstacle is pride, independence and being afraid to be seen as weak or needing help. Ignatian wisdom has a really useful rule of thumb: you need to deliberately act against those negative impulses that stop us from getting the right help”, he says. Actively seeking out support makes life a lot more bearable.
“There are not limitless possibilities but possibilities within the limits” (tip #12). Fr McManus has discovered that knowing your limits, such as how far you can go without rest and food, can help you achieve significant goals of pilgrimage, collaborations and meaningful friendships. Walking the Camino, he says, is a real teacher of humility and respect for limits. “Hearing people, mainly young men, boast how they will walk twice as long and beat the ‘record’, never fails to amuse me as I was there once and have come to see the folly of pride!”
Finally, Fr McManus gives the most important tip to his young self and to each of us: “Let life teach you.” We have no control over the cards we are dealt but we have a choice about how we approach problems and opportunities. As Ignatian Spirituality teaches us, we can find God in the mess. “Though the stakes are very high and consequences are real and imminent, there is normally a way through and hope is our guiding light.”
To read all of Fr McManus’ “15 Ignatian rules of thumb”, click here.