As I stand on the verge of diaconate ordination, I find myself reflecting on the journey that brought me to this moment. Indonesia, where I was born, shaped me in countless ways. My home rests on the slopes of Mount Merapi, one of the most active volcanoes located in Central Java. Both my parents were school teachers, and I spent many afternoons in their school library waiting for them to finish work.
In that tiny library, I discovered encyclopaedias with stunning images. I became fascinated with Indonesia’s incredible nature and culture. I learned about our vast archipelago, with over 17,000 islands and amazing biodiversity. The Komodo dragon, the orangutans of Borneo and Sumatra, and the massive Rafflesia arnoldii flower—all amazed me, including every insect I saw in our garden.
When I was in junior high, the library also became my refuge. I loved learning about the structure and relief story of Borobudur, one of the world’s largest Buddhist temples near my home. I began to see Indonesia’s complex history with Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam. Later, I was amazed at how Indonesia, with its rich mix of religions and traditions, was bound together by Bhinneka Tunggal Ika—Unity in Diversity.
But nature and culture weren’t the only things that caught my attention. When I entered the Minor Seminary (St Peter Canisius Minor Seminary Mertoyudan), an old high school near my home, my world opened up even more. I discovered books that ignited something deeper inside me. The first novel that had a big impact on me was The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I was hungry for stories, and Coelho’s tale of Santiago’s journey resonated deeply. It made me imagine many possible journeys, including my spiritual search and desire to be close to God.
But I didn’t stop there. At the seminary, I found new authors who opened my mind further. One of them was Ayu Utami, an Indonesian novelist. Her stories were different from anything I’d read before. She explored complex human experiences, including faith, doubt, and sexuality, in contemporary Indonesian history. Reading her work was challenging but important. It showed me that faith can be messy and full of questions. And religion can be a source of conflict rather than peace.
The seminary wasn’t just about books. It was a place where I met friends from all over Indonesia—Java, Sumatra, Bali, and many more. Each of us came with our own languages and traditions, and we shared stories, laughed, and learned together. The Jesuits who taught us were different from any priests I had met before. They were happy, witty, friendly, and deeply human. They loved learning and encouraged us to see the world as our home, just as they did. I knew then that I wanted to join them. I wanted to see the world and find God in every corner of it.
My Jesuit journey deepened in the novitiate. It was there that I met Father Novice Master, a Jesuit whose joy and wisdom left a lasting mark on me. At his age, he played football with us like Maradona.
As he loves soccer, gardening, and smoking, he often spoke of God’s presence in the most surprising places. “Holiness isn’t a destination,” he would say, smiling. It’s how you walk through everyday life.”
He taught me that God is everywhere—in every person, struggle, and act of love. His words reminded me that God is not confined to any single place or idea. He is found in the complexity of life, in both the questions and the answers.
Becoming a Jesuit has taken me to places I never imagined. My formation journey led me to Girisonta, a small district in the north of Java, where I studied spirituality and deepened my prayer life. From the novitiate, I moved to Jakarta to study philosophy, diving into the minds of great thinkers in human history and understanding how faith and reason come together with real political and social problems in the capital city. After that, I spent time in the vibrant cultural city of Jogjakarta as an apprentice staff member at John De Britto High School, a Jesuit school where I learned the joys and challenges of serving others and accompanying the young.
Now, I find myself in Manila, studying theology and preparing for the final step towards ordination. Living in the Arrupe International Residence (AIR) community is like being in a lively garden. People from different countries, cultures, ages, and personalities bring their own flowers. Each one is different but beautiful. Sometimes, we don’t understand each other, like seeing flowers growing in random places or different directions. But eventually, we smile and laugh about it.
I always find Arrupe to be quiet and peaceful. There’s plenty of creative free time. I can sit in the library, read, write, and enjoy coffee. Even when things get hard, it feels like discovering new plants in the garden that keeps me curious. In the end, we laugh and see how much we’ve grown together.
Each place has shaped me, each experience bringing me closer to the priesthood and the world that the Jesuits call home. Throughout the formation, God allowed me to embrace my own cultures and appreciate the gift of diversity, which taught me to embrace a universal perspective for mission.
As I prepare to be ordained as a deacon, I am filled with gratitude. The beauty of Indonesia, the encyclopaedias that sparked my curiosity, the novels that challenged me, and the diverse people and Jesuits who guided me have all shaped my path. I’ve learned that being a Jesuit means not just serving the Church or my homeland but serving the world. To see God in everything, to walk humbly, and to find joy in every day—that is the journey I now embrace. Pray for me.
Scholastic Adi Bangkit from Indonesia will be ordained deacon alongside 10 other Jesuits from the Philippines, Federated States of Micronesia, Thailand, Vietnam, Indonesia, Myanmar, and the United States, on 12 October at the Church of the Gesu, Ateneo de Manila University.