Finding myself with others

It’s Christmas eve and I should be at home having dinner with my family. I should be listening to the same Christmas carols I’ve been listening to for the last 10 years while I gaze at the twinkling lights of our plastic Christmas tree. Instead, I find myself eating a snack alone at the airport while waiting for my evening flight.

This isn’t your annual sappy airline commercial that shows flying on Christmas day like a sad and lonely experience. Against my expectations, the airport was full of people, mostly families going on vacation or people going home to their families. If you had told me a month earlier that I would be flying to Thailand on Christmas eve I wouldn’t have believed you. Yet there I was on Christmas eve armed only with my smartphone and camera equipment. Add to the fact that I would be flying there to take pictures and make a small documentary about the gathering that was about to take place. Magis Youth groups from all over Asia Pacific were convening in Chiang Mai for almost 10 days of activities and sharing.

I was nervous of course but my excitement overrode my fear, plus it helped that I brought a few books with me. It was my first time traveling alone on not one but two international flights. I felt like one of the earliest Jesuits being sent to a foreign land with no clear plan, but with a clear mission.

After changing planes and arriving in Chiang Mai I was greeted with smiles and breakfast from the Magis Thailand team. We shared our meal together and bonded over our culture of food particularly the way we each described rice in our own language. It was comforting for me to realise how similar we were to each other and helped ease my worry about not fitting in.

We arrived at the resort and preparations immediately began. People were registering and being shown to their rooms and afterward were brought outside again to make their own tie-dye shirts. The organisers had decided that instead of making a uniform for all the participants they would encourage each person to make their own unique t-shirt that represented them.

Fr Jett Villarin SJ said in his Christmas eve Mass that a question of identity is a question of belonging. We tend to answer the question of “Who are you?” with a relation: “I am the son of… I am the brother of… I am the boyfriend of…” I may be my own person but I identify myself as part of a family.

I may be my own person but in truth, I am owned by somebody. When we forget who we are, we describe ourselves based on our affiliations. So what happens when you take that all away? Who am I?

Am I just a Filipino, am I just a videographer? On Christmas eve, I wasn’t able to answer these questions so I instead went back to what I know best, my name.

Before being sent to the immersion experiments we were given some inspiring talks about Ignatian Identity, Indifference, and what it means to do this In Diversity. Afterward, Magis Youth members from more than 13 countries were sent on these different experiences that represented a Universal Apostolic Preference set by the Jesuits. I did not participate in one experiment but was able to briefly join three of the four as part of my documentation.

I first visited the Emmaus Agricultural Center where the local village was celebrating a Christmas party. They cooked and served food to the villagers and danced and celebrated outside the small chapel. We learned how to plant peppers and raise chickens.

Then I visited a traditional Thai house that was being renovated with the help of the Magis participants. I saw their fraternity and bond as they lived in one house and traveled every day to the construction site to begin their work.

Finally, I visited the Vipassana meditation centre which was located on top of a hill. Here I learned the value of silence and doing everything at a slow pace. From eating, sleeping, and even just walking everything was deliberate and peaceful. There were many inspirational signs around the centre but my favorite is: “He who can control the mind can control the life.”

With the immersion experiments complete we celebrated New Year together dancing to K-Pop and the sound of fireworks. While each country showcased their culture and identity on stage I worked throughout the event to create a small video about all that I had seen in the past three days.

My greatest joy is seeing people fully engaged and laughing when they watch one of my videos. I realised that I had a unique perspective of being able to see all of these experiences and to use my medium of film to share these stories with them. I hope to share these stories with even more people.

Isaiah Crisanto is a multimedia producer with a special interest in film and design. He is a freshman at the University of the Philippines-Open University.