Leadership grounded in discernment

I came to the Discerning Leadership Program as an empty cup. I did not have any knowledge about leadership. The emptiness came from the weakness I felt from my lack of knowledge. Each day, I brought an empty glass into the meeting room and put it on the table in front of me. And each day, the glass filled up.

The emphasis on synodality made my heart jump. The spirit of transformation through synodality reminded me of the history of my vocation as a Catholic and a religious. I am called to experience God’s love which transforms me into a human being, who is worthy before God and worthy to be God’s companion, worthy to be God’s feet, hands, and heart in this world in which we live.

One of the touching moments from Bishop Pablo David’s speech was when he said: “Jesus knocks on our hearts from within.” I imagine Jesus asking us to open our hearts to bring him out immediately. Jesus is for the world, and we who have experienced Jesus’ love are obliged to announce him to the world. My main mantra since having listened to Bishop David is, “I follow God.” So I imagine Jesus always by my side, aware that every time I meet or talk to someone, it happens because God wants to meet that person. I am fully aware of being accompanied by Jesus in my daily pilgrimage.

I found myself in the process of discernment. The words that were spoken spontaneously reflected my attitude and behaviour. It was important to recognise that the voice of the Holy Spirit, which sometimes sounds small, is often defeated by a loud voice that appears good but does not last.

VUCA (Volatility Uncertainty Complexity Ambiguity) is real in everyday life and includes dynamic changes that range from the traditional to the continental to the global. It is not easy to deal with this world, but I am grateful to whoever discovered the VUCA theory. It is like a mirror that lets me look at myself and ask how I can dare to embrace and make peace with the situation I am in. In these circumstances, I need the grace of courage to touch a reality that I often do not want to see.

The power of sharing in pairs and in groups gave me positive energy. I valued the opportunity to share with friends who helped me see our relationships and links. I also appreciated the building of trust and friendship in the mission.

Assumptions are often obstacles in communication that cause problems and misunderstandings. Even though from actual experience I know assumptions can bring disaster, my brain still does it. This is where awareness plays a role. Awareness helps us to slow down reactions and turn them into actions that are positive and with better energy.

At the end of the course, not only was my glass filled to the brim, but I also felt ready to continue the journey. I am grateful that my traveling companions continue to accompany me in prayer, and that our spiritual conversations can occur in small groups that still keep in touch. I feel truly blessed to have had this opportunity to meet and study with all of them.

Sr Yovita Triwiludjeng RSCJ from Indonesia participated in the Discerning Leadership Programme of the Jesuit Conference of Asia Pacific from 5 to 11 January at the East Asian Pastoral Institute in Manila.