On a bright Sunday morning, nine of us friends headed to a parish in Tangerang, Greater Jakarta for Magis Action Day (MAD). I had hoped that my bright red shirt with “MAGIS” embroidered on the left would boost my confidence, but as I walked to the small hall of the Immaculate Heart of Mary Church and saw about 20 youngsters seated in the middle of the room, my fingers went cold.
“Are we going to sound preachy?” “Are we really ready? We’re not experts in Ignatian Spirituality; we’re still learning, too”, “What if we don’t know the answer to their questions?” “What if they don’t understand what we say?”
All these thoughts raced through my mind. I had never before shared my religious side in front of people, and I started to think I might have chosen the wrong day to do it for the first time. We had prepared and rehearsed for MAD in between our workloads. I think the abbreviation pretty much described our feeling at that time because we were MAD-ly overwhelmed.
MAD is a collaboration between Magis Jakarta and the Catholic youth of the Archdiocese of Jakarta. The idea was inspired by Fr General Arturo Sosa’s letter on the four Universal Apostolic Preferences. Scholastic Leo Tanjung SJ who conceptualised it said that MAD aligned with the first and third preferences, which are to show the way to God through the Spiritual Exercises and discernment, and to accompany young people in the creation of a hope-filled future. It was also a response to the yearning of Fr General, said Indonesian Jesuit Provincial Fr Petrus Sunu Hardiyanto SJ, for Jesuits and all their friends to introduce the Spiritual Exercises to everyone and to find God through it.
As Magis members our task was to introduce and share to the youth in Jakarta our experiences in finding God in our daily activities. It was the first activity of its kind, which meant there was no “learning from our predecessors”. We were the first batch to do it. We are the ancestors!
As D-day, May 12, arrived, I felt my anxiety growing. My friends Agnes and Wawan opened the session with cheerful greetings and fun games, which helped me loosen up a little bit. Then there was Dite who presented a short history of how little Iñigo evolved into Ignatius.
I shared the core of Ignatian Spirituality: Finding God in All Things. Looking at the new faces looking back at me felt like meeting new friends. I shared how I found God through a lunchbox. Last Christmas as I was heading back from my hometown to Jakarta, my Dad handed me a cloth bag with a bottle of water, a lunchbox and a spoon. He had packed me lunch for my travel. I thanked him without giving it any more thought. At the airport, while waiting for my connecting flight, I opened the lunchbox and found that Dad had cooked my favorite sweet soy sauce pork and rice. I looked at the delicious meal on my lap and warmth filled my heart. My Dad and I had not always been close but the lunchbox reminded me that no matter what happens, he will always love me. In that quiet moment during my lunch I found God through my Dad’s love in the contents of the lunchbox.
What left the most impression on me was listening to other people’s sharing. After my friends Adeline, Bene and Melissa guided our new young friends through the three tools of St Ignatius’ Spiritual Exercises: Silent Prayer, Examen and Journaling, we gathered into a small circle for faith sharing.
“I have been longing to find true companions, not just someone to chit chat with but someone with whom I can share my faith, my journey in finding Him or not finding Him,” said Vincent, a girl in my group, who spoke up to thank us for “finding” her. While holding back her tears, she told us how she had been feeling lonely these past days and how grateful she was for finding new friends with whom she could share her story.
I realised then that MAD was not just any other meeting. Somehow, we connected with these youngsters and touched their hearts not because we excelled in Ignatian Spirituality or because we have been so religious these past eight months, but because they see themselves reflected through us. The soul that longs to find the “more” in life, the desire to be listened to by true companions, the heart that wants to forgive others and the self – we long for the same things.
In that very short time we relieved a little bit of our burdens. We whispered our hopes to each other, for a peaceful heart, for a hopeful soul. Through MAD, our paths crossed. I found God in each of their souls. I hope they found Him in mine, too.
That Sunday, we were not alone, other groups from Magis Jakarta dispersed across the six parishes of the Archdiocese. There were almost 100 Magis members and more than 240 Catholic youth who participated. Although we were in different places, we moved together in sharing the same spirit.
As we went home tired and happy, I looked back to the start of the day when I felt so anxious about sharing my stories and not being capable enough to share about Ignatian Spirituality. I realised how wrong I was to think that I needed to be perfect – to be fully polished – in order to reach out and help others. By sharing our stories of imperfection, of finding God in all things, we discover reflected in each of us our longing for peace within ourselves. We don’t have to wait to be perfect to step forward and set the world on fire. We can always start now.
Holly Cahya hails from a small town called Nabire in Papua. She is based in Jakarta where she works as a journalist. Holly stumbled upon Magis Indonesia in 2018 while trying to survive life in the big city. She loves creative writing, after-midnight talks and fried banana on rainy days.