Scholastic Dino SarmentoSJ looks back on his two years of regency in Railaco, Timor Leste and shares some important, beautiful and truly treasured moments. Dino is now studying theology at the Melbourne College of Divinity in Australia.
To me, my regency experience was a wonderful adventure, a quest to discover my inexpressible aptitude to serve others in need while, at the same time, to appraise the gift of God’s abiding love for me.
I was assigned to serve as a teacher at Nossa Senhora de Fatima, a small high school numbering about 170-185 students, named after the Jesuit-run quasi-parish in Railaco, (watch Introduction to the Jesuit Mission in Railaco here),a sub-district of the well-known coffee-producing district of Ermera, west of Dili. I worked with Sr Rita Hayes, SGS (a 72-year-old Good Samaritan Sister from Australia) who has worked in Railaco for more than 10 years teaching English and helping very selflessly with the administration of the school and with scholarships for high school and university students from the nine sucos/villages belonging to the Sub-District of Railaco. She often goes to Australia to do fundraising for the school and students of Railaco. She is a welcome addition to the Railaco Jesuit community of three Jesuits: Fr Samuel Dizon SJ, Fr Bong Abad Santos SJ (both from the Philippines) and myself. Fr Joseph Phuong SJ from Vietnam replaced Fr Bong when he went to Manila for a sabbatical.
I taught religion to first, second and third year students, basic computing to the third year, helped out with English when Sr Rita was away or during school breaks to those who wanted to improve their English, helped students with music and sports, engaged extensively with the student leadership organisation and helped with the administrative work of the school. This last I found quite challenging, especially when dealing with unprofessional teachers whose main interest was only money and who wanted little or nothing to do with students outside of class (if they taught at all!). On weekends I helped out in the church: preparing a PowerPoint document for Sunday mass and doing youth ministry, which I found challenging and enjoyable.
I rarely accompanied the Fathers on Sundays for mass in the 12 chapels located in the nine sucos/villages because I felt I wasn’t really needed. I did go around to these chapels when I needed to meet the youth groups for youth activities. Once a week, usually on Friday afternoon after classes or on Sunday after mass, I would go down to Dili to use the Internet, go shopping, meet and share with my Jesuit companions and then go back to Railaco the next day.
Working in the school was a very rewarding experience. I never imagined I could be a teacher when I was studying Philosophy at Ateneo de Manila University. When my superior, Fr John Mace SJ, told me I was going to Railaco to work in a high school he himself had little knowledge of, I was really nervous since I myself had never had any experience teaching before. I did not know what to teach and more importantly I did not know how to act as a teacher. I spent many nights wondering whether I should be a serious and strict or a soft and kind teacher. Could I be both, strict and kind and soft and serious? Would my students understand me? If they didn’t like me, would I ask Fr Mace to remove me? These and many other questions rattled around in my head and made me as restless as a frightened soldier about to enter battle. Nonetheless, like a good soldier, I said to myself, “I should just go with the flow, trust my instincts and put my whole head and heart into whatever happens.” So, off I went.
To my surprise it was much easier than I had feared! Instead of feeling like an oversized fish in a small fish tank, I felt like little “Nemo” in a vast ocean. There were so many things I could do at the school. So many possible channels to navigate! Now I was in charge of the situation and I could do much to help people, especially the students!
Being thrown into a community where people were isolated by lack of knowledge and current information, where common sense seemed not common at all, I felt I was the only one with eyes in the midst of blind people. I had studied abroad at one of the best universities in the Philippines, and I knew many things the others whom I was serving did not know. Hardly any of them had ever been to a university or travelled abroad.
I do not mean I was better than they, however. No. I simply had greater opportunities to serve. I had the incredible freedom to share with the people everything I had learned! It was now time for me to give what I had freely received in my Jesuit formation. And more importantly, it was now a time when I could be useful to others – to the People of God!
At the end of the day, I often felt exhausted, but I always smiled as the night grew older, before closing my eyes, when I traced the hidden fingers of God working through me. That gave me consolation, and I was reenergized for the next day.
Challenges I faced during Regency
1. Loneliness: Railaco is a small town surrounded by green mountains, about 35 km west of Dili (about a one-hour drive). It has mild weather with fresh air – a perfect place to rest. The people were friendly, caring and hospitable, and my Jesuit community was also caring and supportive. Still, I sometimes felt lonely. I was sent to work alone as a regent. I had no close companion in Railaco with whom to share and talk when I needed it most, and there were few opportunities for recreation. I found it hard to keep up with what was going on in the wider world since there was no TV, no Internet, no newspapers (except for the monthly Guardian Sr Rita received from Australia). And, like most towns in Timor Leste, electricity was provided only six hours every day from 6 pmuntil midnight. Sometimes there was no power at all. Thus, the time available to use a computer was very limited. I was grateful to Sr Rita for installing solar panels in the school, which provided enough power for the 20 to 25 laptops in the school on sunny days. This allowed me to teach computer and music and also work there during the day after classes. The same power source also made it possible for Ms Lucy, a volunteer from Malaysia, to teach sewing.
2. Readjustment to Timor Culture: I returned to Timor Leste after studying abroad for seven years (two years of novitiate in Singapore and five years in the Philippines for a year’s juniorate programme and college and philosophy studies at Ateneo). This was a long time to be separated from my native culture. I felt strange when I set foot again on the island after seven years. Dili was as dusty as ever, roads were still rough and bumpy just like before, poorly dressed vendors still lined the roads selling cigarettes, prepaid telephone cards and the like. The living conditions of the people were as poor as before and there were no sleek tall buildings as in the Philippines and Singapore. My heart sank. I was left with little optimism. I was a total stranger in my motherland, and this thought terrified me. I was changed both mentally and spiritually, but Timor had not changed as much as I had expected. People were still used to the old ways of doing things and of thinking. This presented a real challenge for me as I began to work in the school. I had learned much during my studies at Ateneo. I was well equipped and better informed than most people I met in Timor. Knowing the Timorese mind, however, I found it was not easy to tell anyone what I thought was the right thing to do since they would resist and even be defensive at times. This was a golden opportunity for me to learn how to act by concentrating on myself: performing my work well and properly and doing whatever I thought was good and right while at the same time allowing others to do the same if they wanted to.
3. Language Barrier and Absence of Textbooks: A part of my anxiety was over having to teach in Portuguese when I had not spoken it for seven years. Even more distressing was the absence of books in general, especially textbooks for religion. I found only some old textbooks in Indonesian and two very old religion texts in Portuguese which Fr Sammy used to teach the novices of the Sisters of St. Paul de Chartres who lived nearby. I decided to use these texts. To my dismay, however, I found that our students had very little understanding of Portuguese and Indonesian. Thus, I determined to make my own notes. I translated many related religion material from Portuguese, Indonesian and even English sources into Tetum, so that my students could learn something in my religion class. As a matter of fact, the problem of textbooks is an acute concern of educators in every school in Timor Leste ever since independence from Indonesia in 1999, not to mention the problem that Portuguese is the national language of the country. This undoubtedly slows down the educational process in the country. (But that is another story. Let us get back to my regency experience.)
4. Working with Others: Working with non-Jesuits was not always easy. This was especially true when I was assigned to an institution where the structure is chaos, where leadership is an unsolvable problem, where many do not do what they agreed to do, where a few toil for the sake of others while the majority remain nonchalant and do only what will benefit themselves. The school in Railaco was in that situation exactly. It was impossible to avoid conflict of ideas and ways of doing things, although such conflict gave me the opportunity to think and reflect more.
The greatest challenge I encountered was working with the teachers. Perhaps I exaggerate, but that was what I experienced during my two years in Railaco. It was so disappointing to see poor students who spent almost four hours walking to and from school every day arrive only to find no teacher in the classroom. It was extremely irritating and stressful to see teachers too lazy to teach and who prepared nothing for their classes when their students were so keen and diligent to learn.
Every staff meeting was a truly “bloody meeting.” The teachers argued more about money than about how to improve their performance in the classroom or achieve a better understanding of their responsibilities as teachers. More often than not, they spent most of the time complaining that their salaries were too low and trying to find ways of getting more money from the students (more than half of whom pay their school fees thanks to Sr Rita’s scholarships), rather than discussing ways to make the school a better school. This greatly irritated Sr Rita who works so hard to keep the school going.
For the most part, in the meetings I just interpreted from Tetum to English for our school’s director, Sr Alma Marie from the Philippines who does not speak Tetum, and from Indonesian into English for Sr Rita who does not speak Indonesian. I tried my best to bridge their different worlds of ideas and to make them understand each other. But too often the only result was headache, frustration and very little agreement on something concrete to do after the meeting.
Fulfilling Experiences
Having pointed out the challenges, I should save a little space for boasting about the exciting and fulfilling moments that I gained from those experiences. As I said earlier, every event or experience was, to me, an opportunity. The challenges I faced and the weaknesses of the others were the energy for me to strive harder for the greater good of others and for the Greater Glory of God. In my imperfection, I tried to fill in every little thing that was lacking and that I could do to help others.
A simple example was teaching computer use. I never had lessons on how to use a computer; I just learned by using one during my university studies. Therefore, since there was no one to teach the students how to use a computer, and given the fact that the computer is essential to students nowadays, I felt myself called to fill the gap. In doing so, I was happy and consoled even though I had to work extra hours. I saw it as an opportunity to serve and,at the same time, to learn.
Out of necessity and concern for my students, I learned to play the keyboard by myself just through listening to the songs. I was able to play for our school band with my students after several months of practice and sometimes I played for the choir in the Railaco Church. This, to me, was an achievement for I have never played keyboard before.
An important source of encouragement was from the people in my community – the tireless Fr Bong and Fr Phuong, and two very wise and energetic persons Fr Sammy and Sr Rita.
Fr Bong is a medical doctor and Fr Phuong is power healer. They would drive around rough roads across dangerous terrain to the villages almost everyday facilitating the Sacraments and curing the sick.
Fr Sammy and Sr Rita were the shooting stars in the darkest abbey of my struggles and loneliness. What amazed me was that, despite their old age, the two of them always appeared to me to be very happy and jolly persons. What I remember about them – firstly, I rarely heard Fr Sammy complain about anything, even when he had to take the rough road to the villages like the two young and energetic Fathers for the Sacraments. He just went with the flow and was very observant to the world around him. He was very quiet and calm, but he listened to the heart of the people and was very active in his priestly ministry. Secondly, as long as it concerned justice, Sr Rita never gave in to anything that disturbed the students’ right to study. She would confront the teachers face to face (even alone) whenever things did not go right. Like Fr Sammy, Sr Rita is also very compassionate towards others especially the poor students from the villages. Sr Rita has a very sharp memory; she remembers all of her students’ full names, even those who have graduated.
What struck me most was how they (Sr Rita and Fr Sammy) would amuse us during meals with witty stories, jokes and conversations, which suggested to me how much they know about the world and how much they have enjoyed their lives and vocation. Sometimes, I envy them for the kind of energy that they have, a life transforming energy. I am so grateful to God for the gift of experience and friendship I have with them. And I also thank Fr Mace for trusting that I would be able to manage in Railaco.
One of the things that gave me joy was my friendship with the people in Railaco, which I am missing a lot. I felt I was very well treated by the community. Our neighbours are very lovely and caring. I found the people (especially the youth, students, teachers as well as local leaders) very supportive and participative whenever I held any programme for youth. Whenever I held events for the youth during important occasions such as Christmas, Lent, national days, they would come down from the villages to participate.
When it was time for me to leave Railaco, students as well as teachers bade me farewell with a lot of tears, touching poems, moving words, sad songs and memorable gifts. I felt like a little king when they sent me off with “tais” on my neck and hoped that someday I would be back to work for and with them.
Future is an ongoing adventure
My Regency experience in Railaco answered the quest for my desire to know to what extent I could serve others, how far could I go beyond what I thought I could do and how deep I could delve into God’s abiding love for me.
My future (as always) seems uncertain to me. After all the God-given experiences there is always a question at the back of my mind – “what is next?”
Now, I am moving forward to my theological studies in JTC Melbourne Australia, in spite of some pre-existing resistible doubts in my heart as to whether I will make it to the priesthood or not. Honestly, I do not know and I am not sure. But is there anyone who is certain about his or her future? To become and not to become a priest is God’s problem. What matters to me is doing God’s will. There are two things that I am very certain about in my life: firstly, I am certain that, like all of you, I will die someday, and secondly, I am certain that I can serve God and His people. If there is anything I can and must do between life and death, let it be the service of God and of humanity.
In my sleepless nights in Railaco (especially during the many nights when it was deprived of town power),I would go out to sit in the dark, cold and silent night (at the back of my room) to “feel” nature and contemplate on the blinking (sometimes shooting) stars in the sky. There I wondered and pondered if there existed a Spirit of the universe, a spirit that ruled nature and its beauty. The soft evening breeze brushingover my skin, the ticking and hissing of insects in my ears, and the fragrance of coffee flowers on my palate were sonatas that formed a symphony of the universe. Carefully I discerned and wondered about the symphonist. I could sense and feel it, but I could neither see nor touch it, for it was not a thing or a person. But surely, it was more real than the blinking stars in the sky and more harmonious than the symphony itself. Aha! It was an energy, a pure blue energy through which all things emanate.
It was the force that ruled the universe in such cosmic order. It was the force that inspired me within to work hard and to experience the joy of it. It was the same energy I found in Sr Rita, Fr Sammy, Fr Bong, Fr Phuong, the students and the people in Railaco. It was Love.
Read about the Railaco Jesuit Mission in Timor Leste.