Timorese Scholastic Edgerio Martins SJ spent five years in India studying for his undergraduate degree in visual communication and graduate degree in philosophy at Loyola College, Chennai. He recently returned home for his Regency. He shares here some of the challenges he faced during his time in India and how he found beauty and strength in his struggle.
My experiences in India go with the words of Steve Jobs: “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” This made me realize how, when I first arrived in India, it was difficult for me to connect the experiences I had to what I have become now. In the beginning, I never thought I would be able to survive in India. It took me three months to adjust. However, God’s graces always encouraged me to see this obstacle with a positive attitude.
When we landed in Chennai airport five years ago, two Jesuit priests (Fr Jerome Manyani, East African Province, and Fr John Kumar, Madurai Province) welcomed us. Their hospitality and smiles made us comfortable to approach them.
But it was a struggle from the very beginning. I struggled to breathe because of the high humidity. I told myself how hard it would be in the coming years with this kind of weather. I didn’t sleep the first three nights because it was dark and there was a strange smell in my room. I pleaded to God, “You called me to this life; you should give me the grace to face this challenge.” One morning, Sch Marito Monteiro SJ, one of my companions, came to my door with a sad face. I almost burst into tears when I opened the door, but I controlled it; I didn’t want to show him my anxiety and sadness. He told me he couldn’t sleep the other night too, because of the strange weather. The only graces that consoled us at that time were our desire to learn and experience the beauty of India.
Now, five years have gone by and I am back home. There are many things I experienced and learnt but, as I look back, what comes to mind are the simplicity of life and what can be learnt from the university of life.
I will never forget the poor family I encountered in Kanchipuram, Chennai who shared what they had with joy and happiness. They had the most beautiful smiles. In fact, so many of the people in their village and around India shared their joy and happiness with me and my companions, in spite of their own suffering. A smile is so simple and yet it says so much. As we walked, we passed small, simple houses painted in vibrant colours. The women and children of the village came out to look at the foreigners and waved and smiled as we walked by. The children walked much of the way with us, curious, laughing and practising the little English they knew.
It made me realise that money can buy a lot of things, but it can’t buy happiness. I met people who had so little but were so happy and joyful, always with a big smile and a kind word to say when I met them. It was truly a gift to see such beauty, generosity and grace in action. It was also a reminder of how full my life has been and how thankful I am for all that I have.
There were times when I was discouraged because of the differences of the culture and especially the food, but the thing that kept me going was prayer. I realized that God is not over-concerned with our imperfections and limitations. He sees our heart and He senses our sincerity when He knows we are trying with His grace.
Now, I am able to connect my many experiences simply by looking back. It was difficult in India, but I learned that we should never be afraid of the struggle because the beauty and wonder of life is hidden in the painful moments. We need to experience it in order to taste the beauty of life. India has given me a little taste of this beauty.
My time in India gave me solid foundations that I can hold on to wherever I go. I’m aware that my struggle is an ongoing process, but now I know how to embrace it, and the joy of facing the challenges and the struggles, and winning. This is a moment of blessing, indeed! And I thank God for this moment of grace.