Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, all my plans and schedules have been cancelled. So here I am, waiting for the next available flight back to the Philippines. Instead of wallowing in frustration, I simply wait patiently, and use my time to reflect on my recently concluded mission here in East Timor – a beautiful journey that has lasted almost 15 years.
The possibility of coming to East Timor started with a simple breakfast conversation at Arrupe International Residence with some of the East Timorese scholastics. At the time I was discerning my Regency, and thinking that teaching in the Philippines would be a repetition of my work prior to joining the Society. That conversation eventually led me to spend two memorable and fruitful years in Colégio de São José in Dili, teaching English, forming hearts and minds, and creating a safe and secure environment where true learning can happen and effective teaching can occur. I was in a hurry, but I learned quickly to pace myself. In 2008, when it came time for me to return to the Philippines for theology studies, I was convinced that I had given my all with the limited time given me, but I knew in my heart that one day I would return. I felt the mission was unfinished, but I also told myself that the mission was not mine in the first place but God’s, and I was simply blessed to have been called to be a companion in the journey.
Four years passed by so quickly, and in those years, I took courses to prepare myself for my return to East Timor, but I was also hesitant, anticipating the challenges that awaited me. When the decision finally came that I would go back to Timor, I was deeply convinced that my Province had shared one of her men not from her surplus, but from her own poverty. Our God was never lacking in his generosity to me, to my family, and to my Province. I returned to Timor in 2012, with a more practical and realistic sense of how to live in the foreign mission.
My assignment was unclear in the beginning, so I ended up imagining my job descriptions. I created more work than I could handle so that early in my priesthood, I found myself complaining. Perhaps it was just too much excitement. The fire was burning ardently. I was like a brand new bulldozer, ready to clear the rough fields. I wanted to have a clear vision of our work. I was impatient with the many processes and was always in a hurry because I knew my time was limited, others would come soon, and I would have to go quickly.
In 2013, seven months into helping establish systems, policies, procedures, and culture of the then newly opened Colégio de Sto Inácio de Loiola (CSIL) in Kasait, I was given a new mission – to make Nossa Senhora de Fatima (NOSSEF), the parish school of Railaco, a model parochial school. Before I could do that, I had to face mistrust, rejection, confusion, and misunderstanding that broke the struggling school community. For almost five months, I had to insert myself creatively into the lives of the teachers and the students. My heart stayed in Kasait, but obedience asked me to give my all in Railaco. The creative tension was real, but I took the challenge squarely. I sat down and imagined a NOSSEF Railaco that was thriving and growing in quantity and quality. I told the doubting school community to give me a year, and if by then they were still unsatisfied, I would personally give them money to visit the Bishop so they could ask for the removal of the Jesuits from the school. On my second year, they asked why I came too late. On my third year, they requested me to stay a bit longer, but by then, I had already trained people to replace me. True, the administration of the school would not be the same, but the culture had already been established, and the spirit had been felt. I left Railaco happy and fulfilled, but sad for the lost chances and the very limited time.
When I left Kasait, I promised myself never to return, but obedience again asked me to swallow my pride and let go of my plans. In 2016, I returned to CSIL with very solid educational experiences from Railaco. I was on fire again to take on the challenge of participating in nation building, this time aiming for the national arena. I was poised to bulldoze whatever blocked my way. I wanted immediate control over the school, but I kept the collaborative effort as alive as possible. Some members of the school community were not happy with my whirlwind style of directing the life and culture of the school, but I was again operating on the thought of having very limited time; so I continued. I realised the importance of building right relationships and establishing good alliances. I acted as a bridge to the disconnected aspects of our school operations. My dream was to make CSIL earn its spot in the national discussion. Even before I returned to Kasait, the school was already making little waves in competitions, so I was more motivated to reach for the stars.
A huge break came for us in 2017, when one of our Junior High students topped the National Examinations. This inspired us to do better. My plans were many, but I was always ready to adjust and adapt to the different circumstances. I supported extra-curricular activities, and was all out in making our Loiola Cup as exciting as possible. I motivated the students and the teachers to be magis, to do well in whatever they did. In 2018, we made history by occupying the top places in the National Examinations for the Junior and Senior High Schools. This was repeated in 2019. More and more people came to visit us and were impressed with what we were doing. There was nothing to prove anymore. I was just simply grateful for all our achievements in so short a time.
It was very clear to me how my exit would be, but as I said in the beginning, the Covid-19 pandemic destroyed all my plans and schedules. Now, I keep myself busy counting the graces I received these past years. My Facebook updates of beautiful and memorable photos speak for themselves. Looking back, I am happy and peaceful to be leaving this country because I have been blessed with many chances and opportunities to give and share what the Lord has blessed me all these years. I have been blessed with so much trust and confidence with the many roles and offices entrusted to me, opportunities to serve the Society that would not be possible had I not come to East Timor. I am very grateful to have journeyed with our young teachers and staff at Colégio de Sto Inácio de Loiola. They have many professional concerns and struggles, but they try their best to learn. In the beginning, they resisted some of my efforts, but now they finally see the value of my initiatives.
As I end my mission, my greatest consolation is having served the young children of East Timor, those I directly deal with in the school, and those I interact with in social media. I have come to accept my role as a guide, a weak and flickering light to the many confused and sometimes lost children in our increasingly complicated world. At times, I find myself protesting because I see my students having more privileges than what I enjoyed in my time, but I always remind myself to be grateful for this opportunity to help others. I am also very grateful to the many people who helped me in my work, our generous benefactors and friends, the parents, the local and national leaders, the Church hierarchy, and of course, my brother Jesuits. Above all, my gratitude is greatest to God, my Lord and my King, whose generosity cannot be equalled. The mission continues and the challenges are many, but God has a better and bigger plan. We just have to be open and humble in discerning His will.
Fr Roberto Boholst SJ is a Filipino missionary in Timor-Leste for 10 years from 2006 to 2008 and 2012 to 2020. His most recent mission was Director of the Jesuit secondary school, Colégio de Sto Inácio de Loiola, where he served for four years.