I embarked on a deeply personal and transformative journey at The Way of the Heart retreat in Sabah, Malaysia. Nestled in the serene hills of St Bede Ranau, the retreat was led by Deacon Petrick Yoga Sasongko and Stella Vania Puspitasari from Indonesia, representing the Pope’s Worldwide Prayer Network (PWPN). I arrived with no expectations, trusting only that this experience would hold something meaningful. What unfolded, however, was far greater than I could have imagined—a journey that reshaped my heart and drew me closer to God.
The retreat invited us to walk through nine steps, each one designed to align our hearts with the Heart of Jesus. At first, the process seemed overwhelming, but as I moved through each step, I found myself shedding emotional layers and opening up to the immense love of God.
The journey began with Step 1: To Love, where I reflected on the people who had shown me love throughout my life. As I sifted through photos of family, friends, and companions, I realised just how much love God had poured into my life through these individuals. Gratitude filled my heart as I saw how God had never left me alone, constantly surrounding me with His presence through others.
In Step 2: Self-Awakening, I faced a harder truth—my weaknesses and fragility. I had long struggled with accepting myself, but when I laid my brokenness before God, I was met not with judgement but with a gaze of unconditional love. That love broke through my shame, opening my heart to self-acceptance and healing.
Step 3: Discover forced me to confront the brokenness of the world. Through the eyes of the Holy Trinity, I saw pain—wars, exploitation, environmental destruction, and the hopelessness of so many. It was a sobering moment that left me questioning my role and purpose. I felt lost and desolated, unsure of my place in this broken world.
Yet, the First Bridge: Spiritual Conversation provided a balm for my heavy heart. Listening to the stories of others, I realised that we were all on similar journeys, carrying different burdens but walking toward the same God. Our facilitator shared a beautiful analogy of an eagle shedding its talons and feathers to grow stronger. This image resonated deeply—I, too, was being stripped down and prepared for renewal.
The following steps led me deeper into intimacy with God. In Step 4: Encounter, I reflected on how God’s love had found me through people who lifted me when I was at my lowest. Like the prodigal son, I returned to God, carrying my shame, only to be welcomed with open arms. His love healed my wounds and allowed me to move forward.
Step 5: Decide challenged me to commit fully to following Jesus. Although I struggled with uncertainty about how to serve Him, I felt a strong call to pray—for the marginalised, for the world, and for those seeking God’s love. This realisation reminded me of the immense power of prayer as a form of service.
In Step 6: To Live, I encountered the gentleness of Jesus’ Heart. His words, “Peace I leave with you; do not let your hearts be troubled,” washed over me, calming my fears about the road ahead. I realised that living in His Heart meant trusting that He had already paved the way for me. And truly I want to live in Him and never be separated from His love.
Step 7: Surrender brought me to the Last Supper, where I contemplated Jesus’ ultimate act of love—giving Himself entirely for our salvation. This inspired me to surrender myself to God’s will and trust fully in His plan.
In Step 8: Mission, I reflected on the story of the good Samaritan and saw myself in the injured man, “half-dead” and broken before God rescued me. Grateful for the people who had been my Samaritans, I felt called to become one for others, especially for young people struggling with life’s harshness.
Finally, in Step 9: PWPN, I was moved by the Pope’s intention for the month of April on the role of women. I reflected on the many courageous women who have inspired me with their zealous dedication to serving God and the Church. Their example stirred a desire in me to pray for them and emulate their unwavering commitment. This step also inspired me to deepen my involvement with PWPN, as I feel called to join this prayerful community in addressing the challenges and needs of humanity.
As the retreat drew to a close, I reflected on the emotional roller-coaster I had experienced—gratitude, pain, healing, and hope. Reliving my life’s moments and confronting my brokenness allowed me to heal and fully embrace God’s love. I left the retreat feeling renewed, ready to walk with God, and serve His mission by journeying with the youth through the Eucharistic Youth Movement (EYM), trusting wholeheartedly that He will guide me every step of the way.
Jesslyssa Shelcy Duali is a member of the Eucharistic Youth Movement in Malaysia. She participated in the Way of the Heart Retreat, a universal programme of the Pope’s Worldwide Prayer Network (PWPN) and Eucharistic Youth Movement (EYM), held from 29 November to 1 December in Sabah, Malaysia. Fr Alberto David SJ, Coordinator of PWPN Malaysia-Singapore-Brunei, spearheaded the retreat for members of a lay group, Sahabat Ignasian Sabah, interested in Ignatian spirituality in Kota Kinabalu.