I never thought I would have a profound experience of finding our Lord in a retreat organised by the Pope’s Worldwide Prayer Network (PWPN) and Eucharistic Youth Movement (EYM). The retreat, spearheaded by Sahabat Ignasian Sabah (SIS), was held at St Bede Chapel, Kampung Kokob Ranau from 29 November to 1 December.
I am in the infancy stage of understanding the Way of the Heart. Going through online courses on Ignatian Spirituality, Latihan Rohani Pemula (LRP), Berani Ambil Keputusan (BAK), Menghitung Embun, and participating in the Pope’s monthly prayer intention stirred me to know more about PWPN and its mission.
I went to the retreat with much anticipation, not knowing what I would experience there. We were informed that we would have a lot of quiet time alone for reflection, and we would be guided through the nine steps of the Way of the Heart. This thrilled me, as I had always wanted to spend quiet time with the Lord, away from the hustle and bustle of daily life.
The first three steps of the Way of the Heart were eye-openers about my personality and personal life. The first step, to love, opened my heart to the many blessings in my life—the family I was born into, the family I built, my career, and the community I am part of. It reminded me of how much I have to be thankful for. These blessings carried a deeper message: “the more I received, the more is expected of me” (Luke 12:48). It was an awakening call, leading into the second step, self-awakening.
My heart opened more to know what is expected of me and discern my purpose in life. I realised I was called and chosen for a reason. Yet, like the prophet Jonah, I would often run away. There were many times when I ignored certain messages or insights I received, held back by feelings of inadequacy, doubts, procrastination, and the problems and challenges I faced. These struggles caused me to delay answering God’s call. However, as the promptings grew stronger, I came to realise that God never waivers in calling his disciple. He patiently waits for my response.
The third step, discovering the world we are living in, provided answers to many of my questions about what I can do on a personal level and within my circle of influence. The chaos and problems in the world made me realise that I have much to assist and to contribute, no matter how small, to make the world a better place. I came to a deep realisation that the world is God’s creation, and we are entrusted with the responsibility to preserve its harmony, peace, and natural beauty. I felt called to be actively involved in ecological justice. This is a grave concern for my parish, where there is apathy towards caring for Mother Earth.
Steps four to six were the moments where I personally encountered our Lord. My heart burned with much desire to fulfil the mission revealed to me during the Spiritual Exercises. I was blind, but I could see again (Luke 15:10) that God was calling me to be Fishers of People (Mark 1:14-20). The responsibilities entrusted to me as a leader in the Catholic Nurses Guild and my involvement in numerous church ministries were part of this divine calling. Although there are times when I feel overwhelmed by the many tasks and responsibilities, the realisation that I am serving the Lord rejuvenates me to serve with joy. These steps also helped me understand that Jesus is my friend, living within me. With trust in Him, I can continue to give myself to the mission entrusted to me.
The spiritual conversations and the sharing from the participants showed how deeply each of us were affected by the messages we received individually. The exercises we undertook made us vulnerable to the many challenges we faced, highlighting the importance of the support provided by our facilitators, Deacon Petrik Yoga Sasongko and Stella Vania Puspitasari from Indonesia. Their availability for counselling and spiritual guidance was invaluable. A retreat would not be complete without Adoration, the Sacrament of Penance, and the celebration of Holy Masses, which Fr Alberto Irenus SJ, PWPN Malaysia-Singapore-Brunei Coordinator, presided over.
The Way of the Heart is a powerful tool to experience a personal relationship with our Lord. The numerous prayers online and support from the organisation give me much hope that my spiritual journey is guided and sustained.
Rosalin Sulit from Malaysia participated in the Way of the Heart Retreat, a universal programme of the Pope’s Worldwide Prayer Network (PWPN) and Eucharistic Youth Movement (EYM), held from 29 November to 1 December in Sabah, Malaysia.