In 2019, at the end of his first year in the novitiate, Jasper Ong SJ received indications that the Lord was calling him to be a Jesuit brother. After almost two years of discernment, on the Feast of the Archangel, 29 September 2021, he received the approval of his grade shift from a Jesuit scholastic in formation for the priesthood to a Jesuit brother.

There are three main images in my mind when I think of the Jesuit brothers: (1) mother, (2) companion, and (3) bread. The Jesuit brother aids in the ministry of Jesuit priests like a mother in a family. He is a companion to those who have moved away from the Church. And he offers himself as bread for all.

Fr Amalraj Chinnappan, an Indian Jesuit missionary in Myanmar, once shared with me that in the Eucharist, the priest breaks the bread at the altar and shares it with the people. But the Eucharist does not start the moment the priest processes into the church; it cannot. Jesus celebrated the Eucharist only once during his life on earth; his entire life was spent being with the people. This “being” anchored the Eucharist. So a priest’s life must start before the Eucharist. Indeed, most of his life is lived in the preparation of the bread for the altar. The sacraments comprise only 20 per cent of priestly life. The rest consists of preparing the bread. All brothers and sisters commit themselves entirely to this 80 per cent, striving to live as Christ did for the majority of his life. As religious sisters and brothers, we commit ourselves wholly to being the bread for the people to partake.

Although Jesuit formation is similar for scholastics and brothers, our orientation and disposition differ slightly. Unlike scholastics whose studies are largely centred on the priesthood and sharing the sacraments, brothers do not have canonical requirements. This allows freedom for the Society to form us to her needs according to our gifts. Being a brother, I have no ordination to look forward to. I am already living the life I vowed to–as a religious being formed to be the best Jesuit I can be.

Jasper Ong SJ professing his First Vows

I first considered brotherhood when I met the older fathers and brother in the infirmary. It was at the end of the first year of my novitiate. As I learned more, I realised that the main differences between the two vocations lie in the sacraments. I noticed that I had no healthy desire for administering the sacraments. As I reviewed my call to enter the Society, there was little that was connected to the sacraments. What I thought were indications to the priesthood were merely indications to religious life.

The stirring within me felt like a pebble in my shoe. I connected with brothers from around the world over Zoom, and after each sharing, I noticed my spirit kindling within me like the disciples on the road to Emmaus. I asked myself, “Lord is this you? Is this really the path you are asking me to take?”

In my prayer, when I imagined myself as a brother, there was a sense of joy, excitement, and peace that flowed from within me. It was similar to how I felt when I first thought about entering the Society. But when I thought of the priesthood, these feelings would fade away. I sought deeper into the Lord for guidance and spoke to my superior about all that was going on within me. It took almost two years of discernment until the Society granted my transfer from a Jesuit scholastic to a Jesuit brother.

I feel at home with my current vocation, and yet on days when I feel inadequate, I think about the brothers who inspire me. One of them is Brother Quips, the only brother I lived with in community. He was deeply spiritual, simple, and joyful–an amazing inspiration to us in the novitiate. He passed on in September 2020, a year before I became a brother.

Three other Jesuits I seek prayers from are Alphonsus Rodriguez, the virtuous brother, Francisco Garate, the passionate worker, and Nicholas Owen, the priest concealer. (I encourage those who are interested in being a Jesuit brother to read about them or to visit this video playlist on the brother vocation.)

They remind me of what it means to be a Jesuit brother, a religious called to greater humility, simplicity, and passionate service.