“You are my shadow.”
Fr General Arturo Sosa said this to me on the third day of his visit to Korea in July. It is true. I followed him like his shadow to take photos of him. Wherever he went, I was with him, except the restroom and his bedroom.
I came to the Arrupe International Residence in the Philippines in March to study theology, but my Provincial, Fr John Chong Che-chon, invited me to go back to Korea for Fr General’s visit. I expected that I would enjoy seeing my family and friends under the pretext of returning for Fr General’s visit. However, Fr Provincial’s assistant sent me an email just a week before I returned: “Could you take photos of Fr General?” This meant that I would have to spend all my time following the General as his shadow, but I felt happy to hear this request and immediately accepted.
Though I was willing to come and take photos of the General, I was disappointed when I saw my tight schedule. It would only be after Fr General had left Korea that I would be able to meet my family, and I wouldn’t be able to meet all the friends I had hoped to see. I changed my mind, however, when I saw Fr General’s much tighter schedule. It was full of meetings. He had very little free time. I realised that this is the life of the Superior General of the Jesuits; and I tried to do my best to undertake my mission as photographer in his shadow, just as he fulfills his mission as Superior.
He had such a busy schedule that I wondered how he could have time to pray and do his daily examination of conscience. For us Jesuits, it is common to spend 15 minutes twice a day for that daily examination; and I have the habit of doing so as a kind of obligation to myself, setting aside at least 15 minutes in a separate space. However, he did much more than that. I saw him praying whenever he could—before a meeting, during a short break, in the car, etc. He seemed to be very focused on his prayer, even though it was a short time. He sometimes prayerfully paused when answering others’ questions. I found that this is how he examines his life. He was very prayerful even while working in accord with his official schedule. I am sure he was doing “contemplation in action.”
I was moved, moreover, by his way of dealing with people. When he listened, he didn’t miss anything of the other person’s words. His listening attitude made people feel they were respected, and they felt a deep sense of friendship from him. This was particularly prominent in his visit to the DMZ, the Korean Demilitarized Zone between North and South Korea. He became a friend of the American soldier who accompanied us, of the bishop of the Military Ordinariate of Korea whom he happened to come across there, and many people whom he met for the first time. I think it is because of this that people felt his sincerity. He longs for the reconciliation of the Korean Peninsula; and while we were at the DMZ, I realized that God was among us. I could feel the Holy Spirit in him and with him, especially at that place which is a symbol of division and hatred.
After I came back to Seoul, I fell down some stairs and pulled a ligament in my foot. I thought I could not continue to follow Fr General and take photos. But I was eager to be with him, and I longed to carry out my mission to the end. He must be tired because of his long trip and tough schedule, but he did his mission. I wanted to do the same. His example gave me courage and strength. Fortunately, I did all I had to do; but I had to wear a cast after he left Korea.
On the last day, we went to the airport to see him off. I was taking photos all along. He saw me and came to me. I was taking a photo of his coming up to me. He beckoned to me to put the camera down and gave me a big hug. With that, he became not the object of my camera, but my Jesuit brother. He was very gentle and warm. I realised that we had related with each other even though we rarely talked.
We are different. He is old, I am young. He is the Superior General, I am a scholastic. He is like a hero; I walk in his shadow. Nevertheless, we are Jesuits in the same Spirit. Just as he carried out his mission as Superior General in accordance with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, so I tried to do my mission. While carrying out the demanding schedule, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit as I watched him yearning for love for people and the reconciliation of the Korean Peninsula. So I did my best to fulfill my mission to the end despite my painful foot. He is Fr General, and I am his shadow. But the same Spirit was leading us both.
“There are different kinds of spiritual gifts but the same Spirit; there are different forms of service but the same Lord; there are different workings but the same God who produces all of them in everyone.” (1 Cor 12:4-6)
